This was me and him in April last year. I was so happy at this point, but from here on I started to develop some really distorted views of myself. I became incredibly self conscious, which led to bad anxiety problems, which then eventually led on to depression. Nobody seemed to notice because I tried my best to hide it, which obviously worked.
My depression got so bad that I felt as though I was hurting everyone around me and I didn't know what to do any more. So, I broke up with him. At the time, it felt like it was the right choice - I thought I was doing it to protect him and just so I could attempt to get myself back on track with the space I needed. Of course, I didn't tell him how stupidly depressed I was, I just used the excuses in the blog post I linked you to: mainly that I wanted to focus on my A levels.
I'm feeling a lot better now, apart from one huge thing. I feel as though I made a massive mistake and I regret not telling him about how low I was feeling. I'm trying my best to try to convince (okay, beg) him to give me another chance but he is telling me that he's scared because he doesn't want to feel how he did when we broke up again.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, but all I need is help and advice and some way to convince him to try at our relationship one more time. I know I'm only 17 and I'll probably get some people telling me that I'm young and will get over it and find somebody else but that's not what I want. I made a really stupid mistake and I just want to get back the one person that made me so happy.
Note: I've been diagnosed as depressed once before when I was younger but not this time around. However, since I know what it's like to be depressed, I sort of self-diagnosed my depression this time around. If you're suffering the best thing you can do is talk to someone about it, you really aren't alone. I'm very willing to listen and I'll try to give advice, so please e-mail me at morris_molly@ymail.com if you need somebody to speak to, I'll be here.
You need to tell him as a friend what happened while you two were dating, about your depression and anxiety - everything. And tell him how you feel now. If you are completely honest and open with him about it, then he can take what you've told him into consideration and make the choice from there. All you can do is trust him and be honest with him.
ReplyDeleteHope I helped!
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It is easy to say that you'll get over it because it's true, but it's much harder to actually live by that advice.
ReplyDeleteHow about following each other? Let me know on my blog!
/Avy
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Ugh...I'm really sorry that you're going through this : (
ReplyDeleteBut, I think it's awesome that you're vocal about what's bothering you and that you're even willing to apologize to him and tell him what you've been going through- that takes a lot of courage.
Honesty is always the way to go when it comes to relationships with other people.
We're all screwed up and trying to cover the fact that we're screwed up because it's sort of embarrassing...but the people we love need to see us as we are & I think it's great that you're willing to talk to him about it and apologize.
Even if he were to decide that maybe you guys should simply be friends for now, that's a good thing too because it seems like you two were good friends and when you get down to it, friendship is an even stronger bond than romance.
Wow this was a long comment...sorry about that and hope it works out, I think it will and I think you'll be okay!! : )
Honestly I think talking to him now about it would lead to both you and him feeling uncomfortable. Just let the past remain as the past, no need to make him feel bad about not realizing your distress at the time or dig up old hurts for no good reason. I'm glad you're better now and would like to see you remain so!
ReplyDelete- Your new follower. I love your blog!
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