Hello, beautiful cherubs! I'm back! After a much needed hiatus, I'm glad to say I'll get this blog back up and running within the next week or so, which is great timing seeing as I have a two week holiday for Easter.
Thank you so much for sticking around despite my lack of posts, and thank you to all of you lovely people who have followed me despite my disappearing act.
Love you all and can't wait to begin posting again!
xxx
30 March 2013
13 January 2013
i'm lost
Okay, so a couple of months ago or so I broke up with my boyfriend and posted this. I thought I was completely sure of myself and what I was doing but I couldn't have been more wrong, and I need some help or advice from you guys because you're all so lovely and I feel as though you could help me out.
This was me and him in April last year. I was so happy at this point, but from here on I started to develop some really distorted views of myself. I became incredibly self conscious, which led to bad anxiety problems, which then eventually led on to depression. Nobody seemed to notice because I tried my best to hide it, which obviously worked.
My depression got so bad that I felt as though I was hurting everyone around me and I didn't know what to do any more. So, I broke up with him. At the time, it felt like it was the right choice - I thought I was doing it to protect him and just so I could attempt to get myself back on track with the space I needed. Of course, I didn't tell him how stupidly depressed I was, I just used the excuses in the blog post I linked you to: mainly that I wanted to focus on my A levels.
I'm feeling a lot better now, apart from one huge thing. I feel as though I made a massive mistake and I regret not telling him about how low I was feeling. I'm trying my best to try to convince (okay, beg) him to give me another chance but he is telling me that he's scared because he doesn't want to feel how he did when we broke up again.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, but all I need is help and advice and some way to convince him to try at our relationship one more time. I know I'm only 17 and I'll probably get some people telling me that I'm young and will get over it and find somebody else but that's not what I want. I made a really stupid mistake and I just want to get back the one person that made me so happy.
This was me and him in April last year. I was so happy at this point, but from here on I started to develop some really distorted views of myself. I became incredibly self conscious, which led to bad anxiety problems, which then eventually led on to depression. Nobody seemed to notice because I tried my best to hide it, which obviously worked.
My depression got so bad that I felt as though I was hurting everyone around me and I didn't know what to do any more. So, I broke up with him. At the time, it felt like it was the right choice - I thought I was doing it to protect him and just so I could attempt to get myself back on track with the space I needed. Of course, I didn't tell him how stupidly depressed I was, I just used the excuses in the blog post I linked you to: mainly that I wanted to focus on my A levels.
I'm feeling a lot better now, apart from one huge thing. I feel as though I made a massive mistake and I regret not telling him about how low I was feeling. I'm trying my best to try to convince (okay, beg) him to give me another chance but he is telling me that he's scared because he doesn't want to feel how he did when we broke up again.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, but all I need is help and advice and some way to convince him to try at our relationship one more time. I know I'm only 17 and I'll probably get some people telling me that I'm young and will get over it and find somebody else but that's not what I want. I made a really stupid mistake and I just want to get back the one person that made me so happy.
Note: I've been diagnosed as depressed once before when I was younger but not this time around. However, since I know what it's like to be depressed, I sort of self-diagnosed my depression this time around. If you're suffering the best thing you can do is talk to someone about it, you really aren't alone. I'm very willing to listen and I'll try to give advice, so please e-mail me at morris_molly@ymail.com if you need somebody to speak to, I'll be here.
22 December 2012
new year's resolutions
Now, it's coming to that time of year where people tend to start thinking about their New Year's resolutions. It's fact - and just pure common knowledge - that the most popular resolution is LOSE WEIGHT. I'm not proud to admit that this has been a recurring resolution for me for the past, say, five years or so, and I haven't even lost a pound. I've actually gained weight. So I've decided that this year, it's not going to be on my list of resolutions. Instead, I'm going to stick to resolutions that are attainable for me, such as to eat 10 chocolate bars per week. No, in all seriousness, there needs to be a change from me. I've thought of a few already and the list will probably keep going until 11:59:59 on New Year's Eve. For now, here's a few that I'm thinking of committing to.
Get healthy
Okay, so it's not too dissimilar to "lose weight", but it's broader and allows me to focus on, well, getting healthy. My diet at the moment is atrocious. I have no motivation at all, so, at the start of 2013, I've vowed to join the gym. And I will do it. I promise. No more laziness for me, it's time to kick myself up the backside and realise that my body is pretty out of shape, outside and in. It's not just about the gym, though, because I really need to sort out what I'm eating. I tend to just constantly eat, especially when I'm bored, and it's always chocolate bars and crisps that I'm snacking on... Looks like it's just fruit from here on out!
Stop procrastinating
This is a biggie for me. I'm absolutely hopeless at getting things done on time, but I should probably do something about it quickly seeing as I need to be applying for universities around this time next year and I can't afford to be wasting my time doing nothing. My homework is rarely done on time, and on those amazing occasions when it is finished, it was rushed the night/morning before. Although you can't teach an old dog new tricks, you can trick yourself into thinking that you can, so, in that respect, I'm really going to push at this next year.
Charity work/volunteering
I told my mum that in 2013 I want to (single-handedly) raise at least £150 for charity this year. Although I'm still undecided on which charity I want to do this for, I'll probably swing towards the RSPCA or a similar local charity that needs more fundraising. I also want to volunteer at a charity shop and my local library, so I'm definitely going to be applying at the start of the year - a good idea, I think, seeing as people will be throwing out all of their old gear to make way for their sparkly new gifts.
Get dreadlocks
Really. It's something I've been wanting to do for a reaaaaally long time, and after weighing up the pros and the cons, I'll probably end up getting them when my hair has grown a little bit. Here's a few pictures of ladies with amazing dreads, something which I can only dream of having at this point.
Get healthy
Okay, so it's not too dissimilar to "lose weight", but it's broader and allows me to focus on, well, getting healthy. My diet at the moment is atrocious. I have no motivation at all, so, at the start of 2013, I've vowed to join the gym. And I will do it. I promise. No more laziness for me, it's time to kick myself up the backside and realise that my body is pretty out of shape, outside and in. It's not just about the gym, though, because I really need to sort out what I'm eating. I tend to just constantly eat, especially when I'm bored, and it's always chocolate bars and crisps that I'm snacking on... Looks like it's just fruit from here on out!
Stop procrastinating
This is a biggie for me. I'm absolutely hopeless at getting things done on time, but I should probably do something about it quickly seeing as I need to be applying for universities around this time next year and I can't afford to be wasting my time doing nothing. My homework is rarely done on time, and on those amazing occasions when it is finished, it was rushed the night/morning before. Although you can't teach an old dog new tricks, you can trick yourself into thinking that you can, so, in that respect, I'm really going to push at this next year.
Charity work/volunteering
I told my mum that in 2013 I want to (single-handedly) raise at least £150 for charity this year. Although I'm still undecided on which charity I want to do this for, I'll probably swing towards the RSPCA or a similar local charity that needs more fundraising. I also want to volunteer at a charity shop and my local library, so I'm definitely going to be applying at the start of the year - a good idea, I think, seeing as people will be throwing out all of their old gear to make way for their sparkly new gifts.
Get dreadlocks
Really. It's something I've been wanting to do for a reaaaaally long time, and after weighing up the pros and the cons, I'll probably end up getting them when my hair has grown a little bit. Here's a few pictures of ladies with amazing dreads, something which I can only dream of having at this point.
All images from weheartit
Get inked
Yep, I'm turning eighteen in June, which means I am finally legal to get tattoos! Growing up with parents that have tattoos has left me itching to get some of my own - although I'm not telling anyone what I'm planning on getting, yet. It's a surprise!
This seems to be turning into a list of things I want rather than things I need to be doing, so, at risk of rambling on further, I'll leave it there. These are just a tiny snippet from a huge list of things which I want to do in 2013 - I'm just hoping that I can stick to all of these!
Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Have you ever stuck to your resolutions from previous years?! Leave a comment below, I love seeing people's aims.
14 December 2012
frosty
Sorry for the lack of updates lately - I've got exams in January so I'm doing a lot of prep and revision at the minute! Thought I'd show you a few photographs I've taken for my photography A level...
9 December 2012
ombré
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